


Five Lies: Things That Didn't Happen To Yossi and Jagger

by D_Prime



Category: Yossi & Jagger (2002)
Genre: AU, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-15
Updated: 2010-05-15
Packaged: 2017-10-09 11:10:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/86618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/D_Prime/pseuds/D_Prime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The things that could've happened, should've happened, didn't happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Lies: Things That Didn't Happen To Yossi and Jagger

**Author's Note:**

> There's a fandom for this movie? Seriously? I love this site. :)
> 
> Also, small cultural note: Purim is the Israeli equivalent of Halloween.

1\. _i will stay forever here with you_

They find his body the morning after Purim, curled up on his bed with an empty pill bottle clutched in both hands. It's obviously suicide, but no one can figure out why a strong, successful soldier like Yossi would kill himself.

The base commander insists on an investigation, and Yossi's steps are traced back from his arrival at the base the night before. He'd come in from the nearest town, so that's where the search starts.

The pills were purchased from a local pharmacy; the old man at the counter insists Yossi had had a prescription with him. When pressed, though, the clerk couldn't find it.

A customer notes that she'd seen the same soldier sitting on the curb twenty minutes earlier, looking utterly distraught: knees drawn to his chest, tears running down his cheeks. She'd asked if he'd needed help; he'd ignored her.

The trail seems to end there, until one of the investigators spots a security camera by the ATM across the street. They acquire the recording easily - it's a military matter, after all - and bring it to the base.

The camera is too far away to catch every detail, but the investigators still recognize Yossi when he enters the frame from the left, talking on his cellphone.

_As he reaches the curb, a group of costumed children cross the street from the right and rush past him. He drops the phone and spins around, watching them leave._

They rewind the tape and play the segment again, zooming as close as they can while maintaining clear resolution.

_Yossi appears. The children enter the frame from the right, moving towards him: a vampire, a ghost, Marilyn Monroe and Darth Vader. They pass him. He doesn't react._

The last boy in the group, wearing a full-length bunny costume, stumbles and bumps into Yossi before dashing off to join his friends. Yossi drops his phone, turns, watches the boy leave. His shoulders sag and he slides down to the curb, draws his knees towards his chest, stares ahead vacantly.

Minutes later, the witness emerges from the pharmacy, touches his shoulder, tries to speak to him. No response. She leaves.

He gets up, dries his tears, walks into the pharmacy.

A few days later his case is closed. They stamp a big red SUICIDE on his dossier photo. His eyes seem to approve of the mark.

\---

_2\. we play out our last scene_

There's a game Jagger likes to play where he rewrites their story. He makes up big Hollywood dramas and tells his friends about them, whispers them in Yossi's ear at night.

Sometimes Jagger is a prisoner of war who gives himself to his brave rescuer.

Sometimes Yossi already has a boyfriend, but Jagger steals him away under a full moon.

Sometimes they meet in high school and hide their affair from their parents until they're caught, and they run away together.

His obsession with American movies comes through loud and clear: they meet at the Moulin Rouge, on a Manhattan train, in the Matrix. They're Sam and Frodo, Batman and Robin, Louie and Lestat, Thelma and Louise, and their soundtrack is every song from every love scene ever filmed.

Yossi never comments on these wild fantasies, but he loves that Jagger just can't stand how _ordinary_ their story really is: once upon a time they saw each other across a crowded cafeteria. It was love at first sight.

And they lived happily ever after.

\---

_3\. are you thinking of me when you fuck her_

He chokes out the dead man's name when he comes. She does the same a few moments later.

Yaeli rolls off him with a tired sigh, reaching for her cigarettes. She hands him one before he can ask; it's become a ritual, automatic. They don't even have to think about it anymore.

So she's surprised when Yossi looks at her for a long moment and says "We can't do this anymore."

The sarcastic response - _you didn't say that five minutes ago_ \- bubbles up inside her, but she can't muster the energy to spit it out. So instead she says: "I know."

"I don't love you."

She snorts, not sure if it's an expression of her amusement or her derision. Maybe it's both. No, this thing they're doing isn't love. Not even close. She's not sure she even _likes_ him - there's a small part of her that still resents him, still feels like he stole Jagger from her. Even though she'd never _had_ him.

Yaeli understands why they do this. She wonders if Yossi does, if he can admit to himself that they're trying to trap a ghost between their bodies. She wonders if he's figured out what she already knows, that it's not working: every day she remembers Jagger a little less clearly, every day she feels pieces of him slip through her fingers like sand. Did he have blue eyes or green? What was that one joke he'd told her, the one about the rabbi and the ceiling fan? What was that song he used to sing over and over again, until they'd all pelted him with snowballs?

_Maybe it's time,_ she thinks as Yossi pulls up his pants. _Maybe we can let him go now._

Still, she'll probably let Yossi back in if he changes his mind. Nostalgia's better than nothing, after all.

\---

_4\. i know one day i'll love again_

He meets Adam at a bar on a very ordinary Tuesday night, eight months after Yossi steps on a mine and bleeds out into the cold earth.

It goes badly. Adam's clearly interested and makes the first move, but Lior feels bile rising up in his throat and he excuses himself.

Yossi's gone, and he never told anyone about them. Lior's the only one who knows what happened between them, out in the snow, and sometimes those memories feel like a burden. Those are the days when he resents Yossi for keeping their relationship a secret, for leaving him to carry that secret alone.

Those are the only days Lior has anymore.

He goes back to the bar the next night and finds Adam there. And Lior thinks _I could do it, I could walk up to him and get drunk and take him home and let him fuck me and oh God I'd feel something again._

He manages to give Adam his number before he has to leave again.

There's a message on the machine when he gets home. The light blinks but Lior just stands there, staring at it. He thinks about Yossi, tries to imagine what Yossi would tell him to do. He wants to believe that Yossi might've been okay with this, would've understood... but he can't trust that, can he? Not when he's tired and lonely and wants to stop grieving, just for a little bit.

The light keeps blinking.

\---

_5\. we'll fast-forward to a few years later_

The little girl has bright blue eyes, just like him. "Daddy? Tell me about your wedding."

Lior smiles at her as he tucks her in, sitting down on the bed next to her. "Don't you ever get tired of that story?"

She shakes her head and hugs her stuffed giraffe close.

He tells her about the time when he and Dad were soldiers, the night of fire and thunder when they almost died. She watches him with wide eyes, as if he's Scheherazade weaving a tale for his sultana. He tells her about the trip to Hawaii, the crab that pinched Yossi's big toe. He tells her how they'd stood on the beach in front of the minister, while the women with the grass skirts danced and threw flowers in the air.

(He skips the wedding night because she's only eight, and Yossi's the one who has to give her The Talk when she's older anyway.)

"And then you had me?" the girl asks.

He brushes the hair out of her eyes and nods, decides they'll add a few words about surrogate mothers when it's That Time. He leans down and kisses her forehead.

Yossi's already in bed when he slides in a few minutes later. "Hey." he mumbles, half asleep.

Lior moves into his husband's embrace. "Good night."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

The End


End file.
